


to find fault

by magicasen



Category: Tsukihime
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canonical Character Death, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicasen/pseuds/magicasen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times it's Akiha's fault, and the one time it wasn't.</p><p>Follows canon up to the end of Hisui's True End.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to find fault

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: suicide, references to physical/sexual/emotional abuse

The first time Kohaku watches the children play outside her window, she doesn't even notice she's with them. She can only focus on Hisui, running around with SHIKI and the new boy. She has to protect that bright smile. Everything is for her sister's sake, so Kohaku doesn't feel anything but tension easing in her chest when she sees her smile and she hears her laugh, all the way across the garden.

Then it's the boy she notices, when he turns and reaches out toward her. She freezes. The boy frowns, tilts his head, but tries again, waving and smiling. Someone must call him then, because he turns away, but not before throwing another glance over his shoulder back at her.

It's only when Hisui runs up and grabs Akiha's hand that Kohaku finally takes note of her. She had been trailing behind the rest of the group, never quite in sync with their steps, reeling back when they approach her. Kohaku doesn't even see her lips move to Hisui's prompting – she nods or shakes her head, and shrinks back into herself.

Next to the energy exuded by her companions, Akiha is small, inconspicuous. Quiet. Kohaku can never switch places with Hisui, not just because the only possibility worse than her own suffering is her beloved sister experiencing the same pain, but because they're so different, for all of what they share. But in Akiha, Kohaku sees a bit of herself. Following others around, not speaking unless spoken to – Kohaku can imagine herself there, in a life like that. It makes something in her chest flicker, but she quickly suppresses the spark.

It's not like it matters. The way of the world is that the Tohno inflict their pain on others, and not their own blood.

But, she thinks idly, it might be much better for everyone if it wasn't like that.

* * *

“You're to help in the kitchen now,” Hisui tells her. She's holding Kohaku's hand, her grip like a vice. Kohaku squeezes her fingers and beams at her.

“Of course, Hisui-chan. Thank you.”

Hisui blinks up at her and bites her lip.

“Nee-san, I-”

“Don't you worry about anything, Hisui! I'm very good with herbs, you know. It was necessary, to prepare Makihisa-sama's medicine. So helping out in the kitchen shouldn't be too difficult.”

Hisui flinches at the mention of Makihisa. She tugs at Kohaku's hand, looking like she's about to burst into tears. Kohaku pats her on the wrist.

“Please don't be sad, Hisui-chan. Won't you smile for me? We'll be able to spend so much more time together, now.”

“No!” Hisui shakes her head forcefully. “No, I mean...I'm sorry, Nee-san. I can't. Not anymore.”

“Hm. Well, that's a pity,” Kohaku says. “I was looking forward to seeing you smile all the time, now that I'm just a normal servant. But don't worry, it's not your fault.”

Her assurance doesn't comfort Hisui, who shakes her head again. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...”

Kohaku wonders how to explain to Hisui that it's alright, she doesn't even feel pain anymore, so there's no reason to waste all of her effort by feeling guilty. Everything she does is to protect Hisui's smile, even if that means taking the smile for herself and keeping it safe until her sister asks for it back.

The sound of footsteps approaching interrupts Kohaku's thoughts, and she straightens.

“Hello, Akiha-sama!”

“A-Akiha-sama!” Hisui yanks her hand away from Kohaku and stands at attention.

“Hisui,” Akiha says. “I'd like to speak to Kohaku, please.”

“Ah, yes. Excuse me.” Hisui hesitates. “I would like, if I can -” She takes a bow, so low she could have reached out and touched the ground with her hands. “I would ask you to accept my deepest thanks, Akiha-sama. Please.”

When Hisui stands back up, she and Akiha gaze at each other. Akiha breaks eye contact, sighs a little, then nods. “Accepted. You're excused.” Hisui hurries down the hallway, looking back just once before turning the corner and leaving Kohaku alone with Akiha.

“Kohaku.” Akiha fidgets, before folding her hands in front of her. She's wearing a neatly pressed dress shirt and pleated skirt. It would look severe, if not for the almost childish hairband holding back her bangs. “I'm the successor of the Tohno family. Of course, this entails numerous responsibilities, which means I'm in need of someone to tend to me. Since I didn't have a personal servant, I asked Father to transfer over custody of you to me.”

Kohaku processes her words. So, it had been Akiha who had been responsible for Kohaku's release. Truth be told, she hadn't expected Akiha to have the kind of will to stand up to Makihisa. How interesting. Kohaku beams at her.

“Of course, Akiha-sama. I live to serve you.”

What an exciting first move she had played, when she had suggested for Akiha to look into their room that night.

* * *

Shiki is returning to the mansion, Akiha tells her the morning after Makihisa's funeral. As though she anticipates a response, Akiha scoffs before Kohaku has the chance to respond. She is the head of the Tohno, now, and she will not bend to any other's will – which is a lie, but Kohaku smiles and nods as she pours her mistress her tea. But you won't need to concern yourself with him, Akiha assures her, and Kohaku notices how her shoulders tense with those words. Hisui will be his personal servant, and you can continue with things as they were before.

Kohaku can't, but she doesn't tell Akiha that. Regardless, it's an attempt on Akiha's part at compassion, so there's no real reason to spurn the gesture. Kohaku brings her hand up, traces her fingers along the edge of her ribbon, and wonders who will win this bet.

The hourglass is flipped and the cogs are spinning, and Akiha is the one who had set them in motion when she had declared that boy's return. From that moment, every possible outcome is linked, every blame able to be traced back to Akiha and the Tohno blood. Such is its curse.

* * *

Kohaku shrugs the kimono off her shoulders, and Akiha crouches and begins drinking. She had been the one to suggest this to Akiha – she would need the use of her plundering abilities to hunt down the killer, of course.

“About the killer, what do you think, Kohaku?”

“Let's see.” Kohaku can feel her heartbeat pick up as she prepares to pull another string. “I think there can be no mistake that it's the work of SHIKI-sama.”

Akiha pulls back and makes a face. It can't possibly be the taste; Kohaku knows the powers of Synchronizer blood. “I-I suppose so. I have no idea how he can walk around with that body, but we can't leave him alone. The impurity of the Tohno blood that has awakened must be cleansed by those of the Tohno blood.”

Kohaku marvels at the irony of that statement. As a puppet master, watching the actors in her drama gives her such a unique perspective.

“Then, Akiha-sama.”

“Yes. As the head of the Tohno family, I will kill my brother.”

Kohaku nods slowly. “Then, Akiha-sama. We should let Hisui-chan know about this too.”

“You're right. But we shouldn't need her help. My brother can't move around as he likes, so we should be enough to kill him.” Akiha falls silent, pressing her mouth to Kohaku's chest for several long beats. When she pulls back, there is a steely resolution in her eyes.

"You understand, Kohaku? Don't let Nii-san pick up on any of this. It will all be over in a few days, so let's not trouble him."

"Yes, I understand.” Kohaku isn't breaking her promise to Akiha. “He can't even move from his bed by himself, so he will never find out." After all, she won't be the one who tells Shiki.

Akiha looks up at her and frowns. It's almost a funny sight, her pout with her lips tinged with blood. “Are you alright?”

“Hm? I'm fine.”

“You're bleeding.”

Kohaku licks her lips, and tastes something tangy and coppery. “Oh.”

“Sorry,” Akiha says. “There should be have been a numbing agent. You should tell me if it hurts that much.”

“It didn't.” But nothing ever hurts, so her words don't have much meaning.

“It doesn't matter. I'm finished, anyway.” Akiha sits back on her knees, hands folded on her lap. It's the very picture of elegance.

“Are you sure?” Akiha usually drinks for much longer, and Kohaku needs her in peak condition if tonight will go as planned.

“I'm not very hungry,” Akiha says. Kohaku nods, pulling her kimono back up and wrapping her obi around her waist. She notices Akiha watching her mouth, and she quirks her lips at her.

Akiha visibly struggles, but before Kohaku even realizes it her face is right in front of hers. Her tongue licks across Kohaku's lips, and Kohaku can't help but grin before she presses her mouth back into Akiha's. She didn't realize her blood would be that effective, if Akiha only hesitated for a moment before acting on her baser urges. For all of her posturing, Akiha isn't nearly as cold or steadfast as she would have you believe.

When Akiha ends the kiss, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and avoids Kohaku's eyes.

“Yes. That's enough.”

* * *

“Akiha-sama?”

Kohaku sees SHIKI's fingers wiggle, but not the rest of his hand. She's faintly aware of the warmth beginning to drip down her face. There's no throbbing sensation from where her skin had been pierced, but there is nothing less reliable than her pain tolerance.

It slowly dawns on her it's not her blood when Akiha coughs, the sound of it wet.

But it would have been her own blood if the girl in front of her had not stood in SHIKI's way, if she had not protected her, and in that moment, all Kohaku can think is: _Why?_

Akiha falls to the ground and SHIKI draws back, and this may be the first time Kohaku's seen a look of horror on his face.

“Akiha – Akiha!”

Shiki – of course, he and Hisui are here too - crouches next to Akiha, but the sentimental act is futile.

Things had fallen into place, plans set into motion so easily, Kohaku finally grasps as Shiki pleads with the quickly fading life. That's right. She had counted on Akiha to act, on that small, timid girl of their childhood, to move when she had been unable to move eight years ago. That girl is the Akiha she had manipulated this entire time, too guilt-ridden and too kind, to the point where her first instinct had been to save her own murderer.

It's Akiha's fault, then, she thinks, for being so predictable.

“I wonder where SHIKI-sama went to?”

* * *

The red blooms on her chest. It's a shame Akiha had never been fond of roses. They may be fickle and trouble to grow, but Kohaku had always longed for the deeper red than the Japanese native rugosa in their garden. An Adrenal, perhaps. It's the only sight that could possibly compare to what now grew around the entry point of the knife. Her blood has always been the beautiful part of her – what the demons had lusted for, killed for, died for. Strangely, she doesn't notice that in the moment.

“It hurts.”

Pain pierces through her body, and the intensity of it ebbs and flows with the pounding of her heart. It hadn't hurt, whenever she had slipped with a knife and nicked a finger, nor had it hurt when Akiha had drunken her fill from her, or when SHIKI or Makihisa had ravaged her body for their own needs.

But it hurts now, enough that it feels like she will crack from the inside-out. She can barely hear Shiki's sobs, or see the vast blue of the sky past the throbbing in her chest and the roaring in her ears.

Is the pain because of where the knife had stabbed? She had driven it through the part of her that has been too tight, clenched into itself, had made it hard to breathe ever since that fateful night a week ago – ah.

“I see. I guess it was only an illusion after all.”

Her weakness, the one part of her that hadn't been replaced with tubes and porcelain and glass, had been found too late, run through and cut out too futile. It has never been Akiha, or SHIKI, or Makihisa. This entire time, it has only ever been –

“That's why I wanted to be a doll,” Kohaku says.

If her voice wavers, then the blame could only be placed upon a faulty doll.


End file.
